[0:00] Well, now we're going to turn to our Bible reading, and this evening we're dipping into John 13.
[0:14] Willie Phillip, our senior minister, is going to be preaching to us shortly, and we're going to be dipping into John's gospel as we approach Easter. If you haven't got a Bible, do grab one.
[0:25] There are various Bibles spread around the auditorium, or wave your hand on some of the welcome team, we'd love to grab you one. So do get one and follow along. We're reading from John chapter 13, and the first reading this evening will be the whole of chapter 13.
[0:44] So John 13, beginning at verse 1. Now, before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
[1:03] During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rused from supper.
[1:19] He laid aside his outer garments and, taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with a towel that was wrapped around him.
[1:35] He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, Lord, do you wash my feet? Jesus answered him, what I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.
[1:48] Peter said to him, you shall never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, if I do not wash you, you have no share with me.
[1:59] Simon Peter said to him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. Jesus said to him, the one who has bathed does not need to wash except for his feet, but is completely clean, and you are clean, but not every one of you.
[2:19] For he knew who was to betray him. That was why he said, not all of you are clean. When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, do you understand what I have done to you?
[2:35] You call me teacher and Lord, and you're right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.
[2:48] For I have given you an example that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
[3:03] If you knew these things, blessed are you if you do them. I am not speaking of all of you. I knew whom I have chosen, but the scripture will be fulfilled.
[3:17] He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me. I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place, you may believe that I am he.
[3:28] Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send, receives me. And whoever receives me, receives the one who sent me. After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit and testified.
[3:44] Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me. The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus' side.
[3:59] So Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, Lord, who is it? Jesus answered, it is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.
[4:15] So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him.
[4:27] Jesus said to him, what you are going to do, do quickly. Now, no one at the table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that because Judas had the money bag, Jesus was telling him, buy what we need for the feast, or that he should give something to the poor.
[4:43] So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out, and it was night. When he had gone out, Jesus said, now is the son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
[4:59] If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once. Little children, yet a little while I am with you.
[5:12] You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, soon I also say to you, where I am going, you cannot come. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another.
[5:24] Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
[5:36] Simon Peter said to him, Lord, where are you going? Jesus answered him, where I am going, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward.
[5:51] Peter said to him, Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you. Jesus answered, will you lay down your life for me?
[6:02] Truly, truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crew, till you have denied me three times. Amen.
[6:13] This is God's word, and we'll return to it shortly. Again, we're due to John chapter 14, and we're going to read on a few verses into this chapter, where our focus will be this evening.
[6:37] So reading then at John chapter 14, and at verse 1. Let not your hearts be troubled.
[6:48] Believe in God. Believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
[7:02] And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and will take you to myself. But where I am, you may be also.
[7:16] And you know the way to where I'm going. Thomas said to him, Lord, we do not know the way where you're going. How can we know the way? Jesus said to him, I am the way and the truth and the life.
[7:35] No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.
[7:49] Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we do ask that you would open our eyes to see truly the way and the truth and the life in your Son, our great Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
[8:07] So hear us and help us now, we pray. In his name. Amen. Well, to keep that passage open, we're going to spend some time in John's Gospel tonight and over the Easter weekend, a Good Friday, and next Sunday evening at our Festival of Easter.
[8:29] And I want to begin with these very famous words of Jesus that tell of a great comfort. And it's the great comfort that is at the very heart of the Easter message.
[8:42] Let not your hearts be troubled, Jesus says here in verse 1. It says it again, if you look down to verse 27. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
[8:57] Now these are words I think that many people, perhaps who never even go through the doors of a church, will probably know because these words are so very often read, aren't they, at funerals.
[9:08] But I suspect that most of the time, when that's the case, when these words are read, perhaps in a crematorium or by a graveside, most people will have no idea when they were first spoken, where they were first spoken, or what it was really about.
[9:25] And that means that they will have no idea just how wonderful these words really are, how great the comfort they do bring when you really understand what they mean.
[9:39] Because they're far more than merely words that express sympathy or comfort to someone who's been bereaved, although of course they will. They're words that promise sure and certain hope to all who will heed Jesus, despite their own consciousness of their own frailty, their own failure, their own folly in life.
[10:09] And that is the real comfort that the message of Easter begins. So I want to spend a little time tonight looking at what John's gospel is really saying to us here, as he reports these words.
[10:20] These words weren't spoken to comfort the disciples in a bereavement they'd expressed or they'd experienced, because that hadn't happened yet. But they were, of course, spoken in the context of a death, a death that was to come.
[10:34] Verse 1, we read of chapter 13. Jesus knew that his hour had come, that he was going back to God. Now, of course, he's talking about his death.
[10:48] The previous chapter, chapter 12, Jesus comes to the climax of his public ministry. And in John 12, verse 37, he says, though he had done so many signs before them, still, still, they did not believe in him.
[11:05] It's astonishing. And instead, we're told they determined to plan his death. And yet Jesus knew that this would be his hour, the very purpose of his coming into the world.
[11:20] And he says it would be to destroy the evil one, to destroy his curse, to accomplish the great salvation of his people. Now is the judgment of this world, he says.
[11:32] Now the ruler of this world will be cast out. And yet the horror of what that was going to mean for Jesus was very real in his consciousness.
[11:45] Just as real as the consciousness he had of the glory that it would mean for his father. That's why he says in John 12, verse 27, Now is my soul troubled.
[11:57] Because Jesus knew that that hour of unveiling the triumphant beauty of God's love for human beings would also expose the terrible betrayal of human beings' hatred for God.
[12:12] And he himself would need to bear that in all its fullness. And so in the upper room, having shared the intimacy of the Last Supper with his closest followers, Jesus has to exclaim in chapter 13, verse 18, Yes, just as the scripture predicted, he says, Even he who ate my bread has lifted up his heel against me.
[12:38] And again, verse 21, Jesus says, He is deeply troubled in his spirit. To the one who proclaims to his followers, Marvelously, let not your hearts be troubled.
[12:52] He does so from a heart that is itself deeply weighed down with trouble and sorrow, even to the point of death. As he faces betrayal. As he faces denial.
[13:04] Even from his closest disciples. Even from his own. And that's the first thing that we really have to understand about the context of these words of comfort.
[13:15] They were spoken amid a prediction of great failure. A prediction of great failure. All through the passage that we read together there in John chapter 13, we heard Jesus speaking about his going.
[13:31] Going out of this world to his father. It begins in chapter 13, verse 3. It ends again in verse 33 and verse 36. And he keeps saying he's going.
[13:43] And Peter indignantly says in verse 37, Well, why can't I follow you now? You see, this is the reason. Jesus himself proclaims the truth of the grim failure of even his closest followers.
[14:01] Jesus is the exposure of the truth, not just about the worst of men, but the truth about the very best of men. Like Peter. Peter, the lovable, enthusiastic leader of the band of Jesus' disciples.
[14:21] First of all, of course, in chapter 13, we have that devastating blow of Judas' betrayal. Jesus was deeply troubled in spirit. He testified, One of you, one of you will betray me.
[14:33] In that word, deeply troubled, it means he was torn apart inside. There was a wrench in the very core of his being.
[14:45] In other words, that is what personal betrayal does, isn't it? The closer the relationship is, the deeper that agony is. The child's betrayed by a parent, or a parent by a child, or the spouse betrayed by their partner.
[15:04] That pain is agonizing. It's a tearing apart, isn't it? And yet look what Jesus did in the face of that with Judas in verse 26 of chapter 13.
[15:14] And Jesus made a supreme gesture of love to Judas. He was the host. And he honored him as a special guest by offering the bread from his own hand.
[15:27] As if to say to Judas, despite the hatred in your heart, despite that, I'm offering you love. I'm offering you acceptance.
[15:40] And yet in the face of that expression of willing love towards him, Judas deliberately turned away. He hardened his heart to his task. And we're told that he willingly became a tool of Satan.
[15:54] Satan entered into him, says verse 27. And he departed, says verse 30, he departed literally and spiritually into utter darkness.
[16:05] You know that? He immediately went out, and it was night. A few more chilling phrases you'll find in the scriptures.
[16:17] The desperate wickedness of the human heart is what is exposed in the face of Judas' betrayal. And yet, do you know, just as painful for Jesus must have been the desperate weakness of the human heart that was exposed in Peter's great failure.
[16:37] Peter protests his loyalty in verse 37. Surely I can come with you. What he's saying is, I'm not a betrayer like that. Jesus, I'll come with you. You can imagine, can't you, how perturbed Peter and John must have been to hear Jesus talk about betrayal.
[16:53] Knowing everything that had surrendered. Knowing that Jesus had been speaking about death. Knowing that people were trying to kill him. And Peter's saying, you can rely on me, Jesus. I'll defend you to the very last.
[17:04] I'm no betrayer. But Jesus says to him in verse 38, will you? No, Peter, you, you won't defend me, will you?
[17:15] Long before the last, long before the last, you also are going to fail. Before tomorrow morning, in fact, before the cock has even crowed at dawn, you'll betray me.
[17:27] You'll deny me. Not once, but three times. And so he did, didn't he? As we know, not carried by the swords of soldiers, but, well, by the words of a wee servant girl.
[17:42] It did for Peter. That's so real, isn't it? And we understand that as followers of Jesus. It's so easy, isn't it, to go home on a Sunday evening inspired to stand fearlessly for Jesus, even if we're to be burned at the stake, like the great martyrs of history.
[18:01] That's why coffee time on Monday morning in the office and somebody says, oh, what did you do at the weekend? And you say, oh, not much. You change the subject.
[18:15] Not a word about Jesus. And it's often much worse than that, isn't it? Somebody put it this way. Peter's words, I do not know the man, were truer than he knew, for he did not know Jesus in the only way that can keep a man from falling in the evil day.
[18:35] To know Christ in this necessary way is to know his cross. And Peter had never yet come to that point. And every Christian who denies his Lord, saying thereby, I do not know the man, is also proclaiming something unmistakable about his own experience, that he is a stranger to the cross, or has forsaken the place to which Christ has called him.
[19:02] Indeed, every sin that we commit proclaims openly that we do not know him. When we commit sin, it means, for that particular moment, we've chosen to part company with Christ and find him an embarrassment to us.
[19:19] So here's Jesus on the brink of his passion, in the full knowledge of everything that it entails.
[19:30] And yet he's surrounded not only by the wickedness and the ferocity of his enemies, but by the weakness and the failure of his friends. They misunderstood him and his mission.
[19:45] And they'll desert him and they'll deny him. And he knows that they'll do that. As Don Carson put it, they all stand on the brink of catastrophic failure.
[20:04] And that is the context in which Jesus says these words, let not your heart be troubled. Look at verse 38.
[20:14] Jesus answered, Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the cop will not crow until you have denied me three times. Let not your heart be troubled.
[20:27] Isn't that an extraordinary juxtaposition? He doesn't rebuke them, but he gives them an assurance of peace.
[20:37] How can he do that? Well, he can do so because assurance of peace for the human heart in the face of our weakness and our wickedness and our failure from whatever cause.
[20:51] It comes not from anything that we can do, not from anything that we can accomplish. But it all comes from about what Jesus was about to accomplish.
[21:04] Notice Jesus doesn't say to his followers, does he? He doesn't say, Don't worry, you'll bear up. That's the sort of thing we would say, isn't it? You'll rise to the challenge. I've got great confidence in you.
[21:16] He knows that's not true. He doesn't say that. And we know that's true, don't we? It's just false assurance. Somebody says, Oh, well, how will I endure to the end as a believer?
[21:28] How will I endure as a follower of Jesus? We might say to them, Well, of course you will. Just think about how much scripture you know and you've learned. Just think about how faithful you've been. Just think about all those Christian friends that are around about you.
[21:40] Just think about the church that you belong to. Just think about the Bible teaching you get and all these sorts of things. But Jesus' disciples had all of that far more than we'll ever have with knobs on.
[21:53] And yet there was no assurance in that. Absolutely none. What does Jesus say? Believe. Trust in God.
[22:04] Trust also in me. You see, trust in Jesus is the answer. It's the only answer there is to human frailty and sin.
[22:17] And Jesus is telling them that in advance. He says that at the start in chapter 13, verse 19. He says it again at the end in verse 29 of chapter 14 here.
[22:28] He says, I've told you beforehand so that when you do fail me desperately as you certainly are going to do, you won't despair but you will look to me. You'll remember these words and you will trust me.
[22:41] And you'll find real strength and real hope and real comfort in me. Believe in me. Not in yourself. Not in false comfort.
[22:54] That's the real comfort. Not pretending away your sin and failure as though it didn't really happen or as though it did happen but it didn't really matter too much. It was trivial. No, no, no.
[23:06] But a real answer to the real sin, to the real wickedness and to the real weakness in our hearts that overcomes it despite, despite its shame, its utter shame.
[23:22] Trust in me, says Jesus. Because you see, despite his prediction of their great failure, he lays out before them in verses 2 to 4 in chapter 14 a promise of a great future.
[23:40] Jesus is not only the exposer of all truth but he is the revealer of all life. Jesus himself promises here the life of a glorious future for all his followers even though he knows that they are and they're always going to be failures in the flesh.
[24:01] Disciples who so often will deny Jesus when the chips are really down by quietly not associating with him or his teaching. Like you might disassociate yourself this week in the university common room or in the work coffee room or in the school playground or wherever else it might be when Christ is mocked where his church is scorned where his gospel is trampled underfoot.
[24:31] Or you might put your own comfort or safety before Jesus' honor or our own career advancement or our bank balance or our pension fund or our property portfolio above the great commission of our Lord Jesus.
[24:48] Or a thousand other ways when so easily and so constantly day after day we deny him in our thoughts and in our words and in our deeds. But you see it was to feeble disciples then and it's still to feeble disciples now that almost unbelievably Jesus holds out this certain hope of life.
[25:12] Life. Real life. Fulsome life. Eternal life. Life. All through John's gospel he's speaking about life. Chapter 1 in the prologue in him Jesus was life and that life was the light of men.
[25:29] Whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life says John 3.16 so famously. And that life is unmistakably resurrection life beyond the grave.
[25:40] Everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life says Jesus. I will raise him up at the last day. Unambiguous.
[25:51] I came that they might have life and have it in all its fullness. And here you see Jesus is describing that life look at verse 2 as life at home in the Father's house.
[26:07] In my Father's house are many rooms many mansions as the old version says many dwelling places plentiful accommodation for all God's children to at last come home and to remain at home where they belong where they're loved where they can flourish where they can be all that God has ever meant them to be and be it forever in his presence.
[26:32] Jesus is speaking about the true life that we are all actually made for however unconsciously because it's what we're made for it's what we long for we know it deep down and we know that we will never be complete we'll never be at peace until we find it not everyone knows what they're looking for they can be driven in all kinds of directions seeking that thing out of a discontent of what this life affords and the Bible you see is very clear we feel like that whether we know why or not we feel like that because this earth is not our true home and that's why the human spirit is so restless that's where we're searchers by nature because we want more we're looking for more don't always look in the right place some people think they'll find all these answers under the microscope in genetics in DNA and RNA and all the rest of it some people think they'll find it through telescopes looking at the stars and the moon going to Mars with Elon Musk and whatever else there's lots of interesting things lots of valuable things you'll find through these scopes but not not the peace that the human heart craves because God has set eternity in our hearts says the Bible it's what C.S. Lewis called the inconsolable longing the unappeasable want that is deep in every human heart you know it the sense he says that in this universe we're strangers the longing to bridge some chasm to another realm is part of this inconsolable secret and so he concludes quite logically if I find in myself a longing which this world cannot meet then it probably means that I was made for something more than this world yes you were says Jesus right here you were made to belong in my father's house you were made for that home of fellowship and of joy and of expansiveness and of satisfaction that's the truth about human life and that's true for every one of us whether we know it or whether we don't human beings we hide from that much of the time of course we do and yet there are times aren't there there are times when we're forced to face up to these things the real longings the yearnings deep within us maybe it's a time of crisis in our life often it's a time when we face death in the face or illness or family crisis or some great failure in our life and we feel these things so deeply because it's real it's real but Jesus says to his disciples in the midst of the greatest crisis of their lives he says that's what I'm all about look at verse 3 do you see our whole mission he says is to go and prepare a place in my father's house for all who are my friends all who are his followers all who love him even those and especially those who are just about to fail him even at at times if they're so fickle so feeble as to deny him to desert him so badly as Peter was about to do as all of them in the end did at the cross you can't come now says Jesus to Peter but you will follow afterwards you will and there is ample room not just a few rooms many rooms and I will come again he says myself to bring you there verse 3 so that where I am with the father you also
[30:33] will be that is a wonderful promise isn't it for great failures but how can that be how can those who fail Jesus so utterly how can they become honored members children heirs of the father's house that's not just a question for those disciples is it it's a question for all of us you might ask yourself that question I ask myself that question nearly every Sunday when I say well how can I come up and stand up here and preach to Jesus to you well we can and we can know that says Jesus because he says we can trust him grim failures can have a glorious future because of my great faithfulness says Jesus that promise of a great future can come about only only only because
[31:36] Jesus is going to make a preparation of great faithfulness verse 2 I go to prepare a place for you Jesus is not just an exposure of truth about people he's not just a revealer of life he is the opener of the way the only way for failed men and women to find their way back to the father's house Jesus himself prepares the way through his great faithfulness as he goes to the father through his death on the cross he bears away all the sins of those who now will come to the father through him be very clear what what Jesus is saying here he's not saying he's not saying that after his death he'll go and prepare a place for them no he's saying that his death is the preparation for them it's his death and his death alone as an atonement for sin for all wickedness for all weakness for all failure for all betrayal it's that death that opens the way to life as it's meant to be but was never like that since the very first rebellion of human beings and Jesus has told him that plainly many times before he says it in verse 4 you know the way to where
[33:06] I'm going I've been telling you all through my ministry he was constantly talking about his going it was utterly plain to them that he meant his own death just as in chapter 12 he said his hour to go had come and he spoke of his life immediately as like a seed that must fall into the ground and die in order to produce the fruit for which he came John 12 verse 23 the hour has come for the son of man to be glorified truly I say to you unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies it remains alone but if it dies it bears much fruit verse 31 he says now is the judgment of this world now will the ruler of this world be cast out and I when I'm lifted up from the earth will draw all people to myself he said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die the kind of death that would at last bring defeat to the ruler of this world that would reverse the curse of death that would fulfill
[34:16] God's commandment for eternal life for all who are his and who believe in his word and yet they still don't get it Thomas blurts it out verse 5 we don't know how can we know the way and so again all in the context of talking about his going his impending death on the cross Jesus rams it home again in verse 6 do you see I am the way and the truth and the life it's through Jesus death alone that we discover the truth about the way to life to real life to life eternal life in the father's house and therefore you see don't miss the second half of verse 6 without sharing in his death by trusting in Jesus as the way to life Jesus says no one comes to the father no one not even Jesus beloved disciples not even they could find their way without
[35:18] Christ going to the cross for them you cannot follow me now only after I've opened the way by paying for your sins not any person anywhere doesn't matter how good or how bad doesn't matter how religious doesn't matter how pious how moral how lovable no one says Jesus comes to the father except through me because as verse seven says look to know Jesus is to know the father to have seen Jesus as the disciples had was to see and to know the father because Jesus is himself almighty God he is the second person of the triune God he is God the son come in the flesh to this world to reveal the father and to be the savior who opens the way to the father's house so do you see then the wonderful comfort of the cross what he is saying to us is that if you have come to know
[36:25] Jesus through trusting him through trusting in his death which prepares a place for you in the father's house then you will come to know the father also face to face when Jesus comes again he will take you to be in the presence of his father forever even if you've been full of wickedness in the past even if you're still full of weakness in the present like Peter feeble in your loyalty to him which of us isn't and even if you find yourself falling into a quagmire of sin in the future that makes you intensely feeling that your heart is troubled and distressed and overcome with sorrow and with self loathing and with despair for what you have done in denying your Lord it was the feeble failing disciples just like that on the brink of utter catastrophe that
[37:31] Jesus spoke these wonderful words and said let not your heart be troubled trust in God trust also in me and if you do you need not be afraid trust in what I'm about to accomplish for you and opening the door to eternal life forever and if that can be accomplished verse three if I go to prepare a place for you then he says you can have wonderful peace security acceptance with the father you will have a glorious welcome into abundant life forever if Jesus goes to the cross to prepare a place for you and the wonderful truth of course about the Easter message is that Jesus did go to the cross and it was accomplished and the way was opened to the father's house and that was the wonderful message that the risen
[38:38] Lord Jesus brought to his disciples these same fearful disciples who had run away and left him and who had denied him like Peter turn over a few pages just to John chapter 20 and as we close just let's read there verse 17 the wonderful message that Jesus gave to Mary in the garden sending her back to speak to the disciples Jesus says go to my brothers and say to them I am ascending to my father and your father to my God and your God do you see what he's saying I've prepared the place as I said and I'm going and so as surely as I'm going I will come and I will bring you with me also your hope is secure through my death for your sins through my resurrection for your justification just as I said the way to the father's many mansions are open forever and friends what that means for us surely is that that great comfort in
[39:49] Jesus words for his disciples is a greater comfort even still for us today for everyone who looks to Jesus who trusts Jesus who loves Jesus however feeble we have been however failed our faith has been at times however ashamed we are of ourselves maybe right now this night Jesus says to us let not your heart be troubled believe in God believe also in me I've been to prepare the place for you and I'm coming again to take you to be with myself that's the great comfort and the message of the cross of Jesus Christ and friends if you take an honest look into your heart if you're faced when you do that with anything like what I see when I look into my heart there's no greater comfort in the whole world than in those words let not your heart be troubled trust in me
[40:58] I have prepared a place for you and I will come again and take you to be where I am also amen have a look at the screens now and listen to someone telling us about how they found that great comfort and it changed their life hi I'm Ed I am 31 years young I married to the love of my life married Rebecca Wynn and we've got four beautiful children Jacob Chloe Mia and Joshua when I was three years old I told the milkman that I wanted to be a London soldier and when I turned 19 I decided well I'm not going to let him down I'm my one aspiration so I joined the army I went into the recruitment office and said who's going to Afghanistan next and the recruiting sergeant went the Irish guards I went brilliant I'll join them then so that was it I did basic training got everything ready got to battalion and then they said to me
[42:04] Ed you're not going to Afghanistan because the company's full you're going to Edinburgh to learn how to play a drum and I took a bit of a double take but six months of pay up in Edinburgh was pretty good so that was fine so the Lord had his hand on me in that sense and up I met Mary there in 2013 so the Lord obviously had a plan going out with her as part of a condition it was you have to come to church with me Mary from a Christian family so up in Edinburgh I spent the whole month up here with up in Edinburgh with Mary and her family and it was there that I first heard the gospel preached so I sat under Robin Sid Surff's ministry for a long time we see him as our family pastor especially when we were nomadic Christians in the army spending years everywhere and he was preaching through one of the gospels and I believe it was when Jesus calmed the storm and at the end of the sermon as he was closing his points he came to the point where he said if you don't know the Lord Jesus you must and put your through him and so
[43:14] I laid it all on the line in my usual dramatic sense and prayed in that moment to say Lord this is me if you're real then use this opportunity show me who you are reveal yourself to me and then got in the car with Mary to drive her up to Aberdeen because she was a student up there on the way she put on the Paul washer shocking youth message but something in that very hard hitting fire and brimstone preaching spoke to me really spoke to the man in me who needs to be called accountable for the things that God has made me to be called accountable for and so I remember finishing that and saying to Mary with a smile on my face I don't really know what's happening here but I spent that whole week working out and drove back down to Edinburgh and
[44:14] I was stood in my brother in law's kitchen who was a militant atheist and is now probably my dearest brother in Christ and I remember we were talking about that you're saved by grace alone through faith alone and in Christ alone and it just felt like someone hooked a car battery up to me and just in that moment it made sense before coming to Christ I suppose I wasn't really concerned with eternity you know I was young and sort of had everything before me and very much felt invincible but it was through the listening of the word that I realised that I needed this you know that there was in me there was a hole that I couldn't fill with alcohol and other things you know it was nonsense because I would still feel empty and it was only when
[45:17] I tasted of the salvation of Christ that I realised that Christ had died for me and it changed my life in a moment You got all the one one one